Seven Random Facts About Sloth

So the lovely and talented Megan "Asteroidea" Butcher tagged me in her blog for this: seven random facts about me. Normally I try not to go too much into personal detail on this here blog, mostly because people like Megan do that kind of writing about a million times better. I'm merely content to wallow in my sea of videogames, heavy metal, music uploads that I'm sure everybody is sick of by now, and pop-culture referencing. But seeing as I was CALLED OUT, on the INTERNET, I can only comply.

Fact 1: I was exorcised. Not "exercised", as anybody who's seen me in person can surely testify, but "exorcised", as in the Linda Blair, head-spinning, pea-soup-vomiting kind. It's a long story, which is really worth a whole 'nother post, but here's the short version: it didn't take.

Fact 2: I have reoccurring rock fantasy dreams. I don't think this one is particularly unique, but the only reoccurring dream I ever have any more is this one: I'm at a concert - let's say New Order, because it usually is in the dream - and everybody's waiting around for the show to start. Bernard Sumner hits the stage and says: "Hey, sorry folks but Peter Hook is detained and he's not going to make it. We'd sure like to play, though. There wouldn't happen to be anybody in the audience who knows every single note of every song we've ever written, would there?" and I'm all like: "YES! I DO! RIGHT HERE!" and then I get up on stage and BLOW EVERYBODY'S MINDS. I get this about once every six months, and it's awesome every time.

Fact 3: My favouritest movie ever is Singin' In The Rain. I used to keep count of how many times I watched it, but I stopped after I hit about fifty in first-year university. It's easily over one hundred times by now.

Fact 4: I can spit like a snake. See, there are these two saliva glands right underneath your tongue that if you kind of arch your tongue upwards towards the roof of your mouth and push down you can squeeze and shoot a stream our of your mouth in a snake-like fashion. Apparently, nobody else in the history of the universe has ever discovered this. I don't do it all that often (because I'm no longer eight years old), but it brings me great joy to know that I have that in reserve.

Fact 5: I once broke a toilet with my head. This is another one that could probably take up a whole 'nother post, but suffice it to say a) it wasn't on purpose, b) when I mean broke, I mean broke - like split-the-bowl-in-half, and c) I'm fine, thanks for asking.

Fact 6: I have flat feet. Which is why I tend to walk like Grouch Marx. So, let's review: flat feet, overweight, and bad eyesight. Like Woody Allen said, according to the army I wouldn't be 4F, I'd be 4H - if a war ever broke out, I'd be a hostage.

Fact 7: My middle name is Danger. Ok, I made that one up.